Mrs Abigail Titilola Simisola Alabi 1919-1979: An Amazing Amazon In The Class Of Mother Theresa

By Banji Alabi Esq

Today Saturday January 30th is my birthday but there will be no celebration today as I am still mourning the passing away of three of my closest friends and brothers, Oba Sunday Wilson Akinmulero, Barrister Tosin Ogunbodede and Mr Bolaji Aladesuru. May their souls Rest in Peace.

But today I will speak a little about my late mother, Mrs Abigail Titilola Simisola Alabi 1919-1979. My mother, was born in Owo in 1919, she didn’t really know her dad much, because he died when she was very young. But she was very fortunate to have so many accomplished and preeminent women in her maternal household where her mother, grandma Olayiwade lived. Her mother was a highly regarded and preeminent member of the Osuporu chieftaincy clan, a close blood relation of the Olateru-Olagbegi family the preeminent Owo royal family. At mothers’ paternal side at Iselu quarters in Owo town, her uncles and nephews were established members of society. In fact her father would have become the Ariyo, the highest and most senior chief and leader of the Iselu people had he been alive when the position was vacant. Thus mother had royalty on both sides of her lineage and she knew and lived it!

She was close to her mother not only because she doted on her as her only daughter, but because grandma Olayiwade was highly influential, honored and revered in the neighborhood and beyond! She was not only respected for being a blood relative to Owo royalty, she was famous for her naturopathic pharmacopoeia knowledge and expertise in turning women and wives who were once barren to mothers of bouncing baby boys and girls. Over the years her fame had spread so much that she was even being consulted by couples who resided outside of Owo municipality. Grandma Olayiwade had learned the naturopathic and pharmacological arts from her mother, and she was expected to pass it on to my mother.

This is known in Owo culture as “Ase mu loma wo, remi” roughly translated as, “To bequeath my arts and culture to my offsprings is my greatest desire, duty and prayer!” To my mother, her mother, grandma Olayiwade was truly a pillar and a light of her society. She was not only able to provide for all of my mothers’ princessly needs, as attested by mothers’ friends and neighbors who grew up with her in her youth, but she was generous with her resources in helping the less fortunate and underprivileged in her family and all of society at large. To my mother, her mother truly earned the honor and accolades bestowed on her by well-wishers, relatives, admirers strangers who were beneficiaries of her largesse. She was truly an “ Omo se bene mowo sogun. “One who so graciously and generously dispenses her wealth and favors to others as if she had inherited vast fortunes. Whereas, she had made her fortune all by her efforts!” Grandma Olayiwade was the type of person Billie Holiday, the great American Blues singer sang about in her song “God Bless the Child.”: “Papa may have, mama may have, but God bless the child who has his or her own!”

Besides her medical skills, mother soon discovered that her mother was also respected in the community for settling disputes and differences between adults, some several years older than her! She truly admired the ways she adjudicated various conflicts and differences brought to her for resolution, with both parties truly reconciled after she had finished helping them resolve their differences. Mother was always surprised beyond belief how her mother could turn two parties who were yelling at each other a few minutes earlier to cooperative and concerned neighbors who were now truly concerned about the welfare of each other and their families!

To my mother that was really having and using ones powers, gifts and talents for the good of society. To my mother, grandma Olayiwade was also an “Onidajo” like Deborah in the Bible.(Judges 4:4-14). To my mother, her mothers’ gift of resolving differences and conflicts was even more important and prestigious than her naturopathic and pharmacological abilities! To be able to turn parties who were warring at each other to becoming cooperative, caring and concerned neighbors and members of society as they used to be before their conflicts, was the noblest of all arts! Adding to her surprise and admiration was the fact that her mother in resolving and adjudicating these various conflicts and differences used examples of stories and incidents from Yoruba antiquities, Owo mythologies and even passages from the Bible to fantastic results and outcomes! To her, grandma Olayiwade was the type of peacemaker that Christ preached about, and blessed, in His Sermon On The Mount. Furthermore, besides being a wise ‘Judge’ and a peace maker, she was a restorer of hope to the hopeless, and of course a healer of barren and childless women and their sick babies too! She truly admired and respected her mothers’ many talents and her services to the community and would like to grow up to be an “Omo se bene mowo jogun; like her!”.

Gradually, she began to come to the realization that she would like to serve her neighbors and society too. For starters she would learn everything there was to learn about her pharmacopoeia and healing arts and ask every question to help her assume the role as her mothers’ able assistant and understudy. She understood that the acquisition of the necessary knowledge and expertise would take some time; perhaps like the years it took her mother to learn the arts from her own mother. But that was a price she was willing to pay! But there was one gift that she had that would help her in the area of conflict resolution which was her love for those Owo and Yoruba mythologies that her mother often used in her conflicts resolution practices. She knew most of the stories and the songs ,but she didn’t know the full philosophical meanings and implications of the actions of the protagonists and antagonists that the stories and the songs spoke about, till her mother drew out the implications and consequences of the actions of the participants in the stories!

Gradually my mum started to realize that her mother’s love for Owo music, ulture and mythologies were not just for her cerebral pleasures alone, but for some deeper, psychic, and intellectual benefits. The songs, stories and the archetypes of their actions seemed to reflect deeper meanings and consequences for the present as they were for the past and even the future! She had on occasions, found her mother repeating lines, phrases and lyrics of songs of ancient stories and suddenly she saw her face brightened as if she had cracked the code of a hidden message the the story teller and composers of the songs were trying to impart to the generations who would hear them eons after they had long gone. Mother knew instinctively that her mother had, through her dedication, to her peoples’ culture and arts became more informed, confident and enlightened than most of her peers. She could see messages of hope and future renewal in things that most people would think were irrelevant and obsolete! She had never seen her mother despondent or panicky in any situation for long. She could be angry or sometimes say some discouraging things when confronted with difficult situations .But soon enough, she regained her control and confidence and systematically use the right archetype from her favorite story or from favorite antiquity to formulate a response, while chipping away at the challenges till they were resolved. She had a very positive state of mind and believed in the rightness of her cause! She had her shares of failures, and she learned from them, reminding herself that she would be triumphant if that challenge ever confronted her in the future again because she had learned her lessons from her failure!. She loved to remind my mother that the Bible said there was nothing new under the heavens, which according to her, meant whatever situation one was confronted with, others had confronted and successfully dealt with them before!
So the right thing to do was to look into the past and recall the actions the protagonist took to be victorious over the situation! According to grandma Olayiwade, that was the reason for myths and antiquities. She believed that using the right archetype in a Yoruba, Owo or other mythologies should help in resolving whatever challenges one may face or confront in life!

At twenty years of age, mother was coming on her own, and there were positive expectations that she would be a worthy successor to grandma Olayide in every facet of her innumerable talents, services and contributions to the medical ,social and economic well-being of her society if and when the time came. At the age of twenty, she had become a force to be reckoned with in naturopathy’s and in gynecological pharmacopeia, some happy and new mothers who had earlier consulted with her when they had no children were beginning to call her “Mama Abiye!” She was tall, regal and preeminent with a calming and self-assuring dispositions. She knew great things were expected of her and was determined not to fail those who had reposed their hopes and confidence in her. Like her mother had advised, she had studied worked hard and by now, knew more Owo mythical stories, their songs and the archetypes of their protagonists and antagonists than more most adults. She knew that if she was going to be an “Onidajo” (Conflict resolution expert) or an “Agborondun” (Counselling Therapist) like her mother or Deborah in the Bible, she had to know myths, ancient history, and her speech and reasoning had to be deeper and more analytical than the average person out there in the larger society. In the process of her understudy and studies she had become an accomplished” Adan and Osehe musician like her mother. She was privately pleased with her musicianship because after all, King David was an accomplished music too who used his music therapy to treat King Sauls’ bout with evil spirits from the Lord!. Her Adan and Osehe compositional styles were complex and exciting. The messages of her lyrics were full of ancient truths and full of hope that left some of her listeners feeling validated on the action they took on their current challenges that her songs seem to validate. Some listeners of her music were left crying for joy because the message of her songs spoke of a brighter future for those who were courageous enough to stay the course and believe in God! She could have made a good and decent living if she had pursued a career playing Osehe, Adan and similar genre of music. But she understood her calling. Besides she was of the royal family. But most importantly she was her mother understudy. There were many more barren women to turn to mothers; many more conflicts to resolve and many more people to counsel and encourage to stay the course and of course more exciting things to do! She was only twenty years of ago and her life has just begun! Indeed she was a worthy successor of her mum.

At the age of 22, she met and married my father Chief Alabi Osokiya, a foremost building contractor based at Ibadan, My mum had to relocate to Ibadan with her husband and they had six children, I am the last of the six.

At Ibadan, mother went into textile business and sewing, she was a sewing mistress and fashion designer. She also continued her gynecological and the Iya-Abiye stuff.

On his ascension to the throne of His forefathers, His Imperial Royal Majesty Sir Olateru-Olagbegi (2) commenced the “head hunt” for some prominent Owo citizens all over the world to come home and helped him to build Owo town. His plan was to make Owo the reference point and the political and commercial capital of Yoruba land.

One of the very few people that Kabiyesi “headhunt” was my father Chief Alabi-Osokiya, who was then based at Ibadan, calling the shot in real estate and property development.

His imperial Royal Majesty Kabiyesi Sir Olateru-Olagbegi II invited my father and other very prominent people of Owo kingdom origin to return to Owo and helped build the town.

His imperial Royal Majesty created Igboroko Nla street and the kings terrace and allocated lands to his friends who were invited to helped built Owo, Igboroko Nla and kings-terrace then were the Ikoyi and the Victoria Island of Owo occupied by some of the most powerful and influential people of Owo charged with the responsibilities of building Owo into a foremost city second to none in Nigeria.

My father Chief Alabi-Osokiya was a member of Owo second council charged with the responsibilities of adversity His Imperial Royal Majesty, the Olowo of Owo on the administration of Owo. Sir Olateru-Olagbegi enjoyed the same royalty, honor, class, privilege and influence similar to those of the queen of England at that time

My Father’s house No 6 Igboroko Nla Street, Owo, was the very first story building to be built with concrete block in the history of Owo town extending to Ifon and other towns then known as Owo division.

The house hosted many prominent Yoruba leaders during the launch of the action group. My mother was called to Higher Services on October 9, 1979 exactly one year after the demise of her husband so I became an orphan at a very tender age.

Though I was 17 years old when God called her to glory but she handed me a legacy am holding in my life.

1.Peace begins with a smile.

2 .Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.

Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.

These virtues today are the hallmark of my life. My mother became famous for dedicating her lifetime to caring-Her usual saying ‘love cannot remain itself it has no meaning. love has to be put into action and that action is service’.

She was a unique woman by all standards, very authentic, a leader per excellence and full of endurance.

Continue to Rest in Peace my Mother.

Banji Alabi Esq is the Chairman Governing Council Rufus Giwa Polytechnic Owo, Ondo State.