Be Objective About Your Flaws By Abimbola Abatta

Being an editor, one must have a keen eye for details. Every writing error must be amended. I remember sometimes in March when I travelled for a friend’s wedding, and my eagle eyes caught a spelling error on a signpost (helthcare was written instead of healthcare). I pointed it out to my friend that was with me, and she said: “Your eyes are sharp o. Since I have been here, I never noticed it.”

In another occasion, I shared a post where I wrote “conference” instead of confidence. I have made such a mistake a number of times, and some friends had to draw my attention to it. Despite the fact that my inner editor ought to see these things, I failed to see them.

Each time someone points my attention to these spelling errors, I never disagreed with them. I’ll simply go back to the write-up and correct my mistakes. From the “helthcare” experience, it would have been embarrassing if my friend had disagreed with me about the spelling. Immediately I told her, she looked at it and confessed that she never observed it.

What is the import of this story? I realised that no matter how much you think you know yourself, there are some things you will never see or know except someone points them out. We have certain hidden flaws that have escaped our “eagle” eyes, and until someone notes them, we may fall like tragic heroes.

Has someone said something about you before and you just want to disagree with them?

When I was in secondary school, a friend told me that I was proud. For days, I thought about that statement, but I dismissed it. As a young adult, some of my friends have made the same statement, and each time, I disagreed with them. But on a closer look, and in relation to their explanations, I realised that they were right. Unfortunately, pride often brings insolence and ego along.

I never imagined that I was a proud peacock, but the moment my close friends noted these things, I ruminated on my character. Whenever people identify some of our core flaws, our first reaction is to prove them wrong. We try to tell them that they’re wrong. In fact, our mind tells us that these people are jealous of us. However, I discovered that anyone who points your attention to your flaws wants you to grow.

When my friend brought my attention to the fact that I wrote “conference” instead of confidence, I was ready to correct my mistake. And when I corrected the mistake, the quality of my write-up improved. Likewise, being objective about your flaws improves the quality of your personality.

You can’t know everything about yourself. And if you really want to be great in life, you must be willing to embrace people’s observations about you. This is the concept of objectivity. Those hidden weaknesses may be as clear as daylight to your friends and family. And when they tell you about your weaknesses, they have your interest at heart. They want you to grow. They want you to turn your weakness into strength.

However, you must be able to differentiate between genuine love and falsehood. Some people may deliberately say untrue things about you. For instance, people often tag generous people as proud people. You will hear statements like, “Mr. Money is doing yanga because of his wealth. He is too proud self; he’ll be doing father Christmas every day. Is he the only one that has money?” In this kind of situation, pure jealousy is at play.

2 Corinthians 13:1b says, “In the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established.” If more than one person has identified a particular thing about you, you may have to reflect upon your life and make adjustments.

Before my pen takes a nap, I’ll leave you with these words from Socrates: “Think not those faithful who praise all thy words and actions; but those who kindly reprove thy faults.”

©Abimbola F. Abatta

Email: abimbola.abatta@gmail.com