Avoid Sex Without Responsibility – Scholar Warns

…Identifies Conditions For Legal Sex

By Biodun Adebayo

Sex is not only permissible but a desirable act in Islam so long as it is preceded by Nikah (marriage solemnisation) and accorded requisite publicity; it must neither be shady nor be shrouded in secrecy.

The submission was made recently by an Islamic scholar, Ustadh Tajudeen Abdus-Salaam while delivering a lecture on “Islam and Sex Education” at a Special Usrah organised by the Muslim Students’Society of Nigeria, Ondo State University of Science and Technology, Okitipupa.

The lecture was part of the programmes to mark its 1441 AH (2019) MSSN Week.

Corroborating the legality of sex in Islam, AbdusSalaam quoted Prophet Muhammad as saying: “I am the best of you, I am married and I cohabit with my wives”.

According to the guest speaker, “Nikah should not be done in secret. It must be well publicised and witnessed by a sizeable number of Muslims to avoid unwarranted suspicion, avoidable insinuations and needless ambiguity.

The seasoned scholar posited that, in Islam, any sex outside well solemnised marriage is regarded as fornication/adultery and punishable by 100 lashes or death.

Quoting the Prophet’s saying, AbdusSalaam reiterated that illegal sex outside, otherwise known as Zinah, is so abominable and a grievous offence that one round of sex renders useless, the entire acts of worship and virtuous deeds of sixty years.

Courtship in Islam
The lecturer noted that there is no courtship in Islam, explaining that courtship is a western terminology and very alien to Islam.

He said, courtship as being practised, permits pre-marital sex and unwholesome datings that are not tolerated in Islam. 

“Against the Shariah which is attributed to divinity and has its source in the scriptures, Western law or culture is a product of secularism which recognises and permits premarital sex. It also does not criminalise extramarital sex. In western culture, both premarital and extramarital sex are not illegal as long as they are committed with consent and not done with force (rape)”.

According to him, “In Islam, proposal for nikah or marriage should only be made when the man is both physically and financially capable. He said the waiting period should be as short as possible, while ensuring that the four conditions of marriage are fulfilled as stipulated in the Shari’a.

Sex without responsibility
Ustadh AbdusSalaam condemned the prevailing attitude of “sex without responsibility”, saying such attitude is highly detested by Islam. “In Islam, it is sex with responsibility”, he declared.

The motivational speaker enjoined Muslim ladies to preserve their chastity and virginity till marriage. He also warned them to beware of unsuspecting predators and sex exploiters, stressing that chastity and virginity are highly treasured and rewardable by Allah.

Maturity is key
The lecturer explained that maturity is key to a successful marriage, statimg that a lady must be physically mature, physiologically ready, psychologically fit and emotionally balance or stable.

“It is essential for every mature Muslim male and female to possess certain knowledge and understanding with regards to sex education, such as sexual relations, emotional responsibilities, age of consent, sexual anatomy, sexual activities, reproductive health rights and issues, birth control and sexual abstinence among others”, he said.

The speaker highlighted the consequences of premarital and extramarital sex as well as sex without responsibility to include broken homes, proliferation of sexually transmitted diseases, populating the society with bastards, including bad guys and ladies, unwanted pregnancies, promiscuity, sexual perversion, permissiveness, licentiousness, perversion of minds, dashing of brilliant hopes and destruction of promising careers among others.

Amir warns
The Amir (president) of the organization, Mallam Idris Titiloye remarked that the lecture was timely because of the abuse of the marriage institution by many students in some notable institutions and because of those who do hide under shady and shody nikah to commit fornication.

He therefore warned the ladies not allow any man with beautiful speeches to play on their vulnerability or lure them into unwholesome practices.